Actual Sunlight

Warning: Before reading this article or looking into this game, be advised that the subject matter and content is extremely dark and could trigger unhealthy emotional patterns for depressed or suicidal individuals. The game specifically covers the thought patterns and progression of depression and suicide. It is not for the faint of heart nor is it a title that those currently suffering from such ailments should experience for themselves. If you are currently suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, please, seek help immediately or contact a suicide hotline: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html


Actual Sunlight is an independent, free-to-play game that explores the depression and suicidal thoughts of a twenty-something man. He is overweight, unattractive, and struggles with social situations. His mental dialogues and workings are haunting and watching his progression (or lack thereof) is a frightening experience. The game is still in development, but the current build has rocked me thoroughly.

Our textbook chapter covers video games as a controversial media, but I feel that the video game controversies covered in the book are more over the shame of games rather than the art. Companies such as Midway glorifying needless gore and over-the-top combat for juvenile amusement, games such as Doom and Grand Theft Auto parodying their own needless violence, these are not the games that need to be discussed. Multiple studies have shown a distinct lack of connection between video game violence exposure and likelihood to commit violent crimes.

Actual Sunlight is a game that deserves to be controversial. It holds an artistic style reminiscent of light-hearted role-playing games courtesy of the engine used to create it (RPG-Maker), but the tone of the game and the writing within it construct a grim and beautiful depiction of depression. The societal role of depression and the political, medical, and social conflict it has caused is extremely relevant, but often considered taboo in most media. That a video game can attempt to start the discussion about such a topic is significant, even if the story of Actual Sunlight is only an individual's story and by no means encompasses the whole of depression.

Actual Sunlight popped up on my radar this evening and, in my curiosity, I downloaded it and played it through entirely. The entirety of the game is about an hour in length and I hopefully haven't inadvertently spoiled anything in my above discussion.

What I can say hopefully without spoiling the experience is this: Actual Sunlight caused me to hesitate. I knew from the get-go what sort of story I would be partaking in, but I never realized that its presentation would be such that I would have to question my own emotional patterns and lifestyle. I felt guilt and hesitance as I questioned whether my input as a player was perpetrating the patterns the game was clearly displaying, or if I could do something as a third party. Assuming the role of a sufferer of depression and simultaneously wishing to prevent it is a grim experience, but it's one that is executed in a manner that I don't feel any other medium could manage.

For those that are interested and are assured of their emotional and mental health, a free download of the game, in addition to other professional critiques, reviews, and resources can be found at the following link:

http://www.actualsunlight.com/


Here's hoping that video games can continue to be a medium to explore topics that would otherwise remain silent, potentially leaving people suffering.


Matt